A great day.
Thanks to everyone who recommended laptops. I ended up going with the Thinkpad X200. I literally picked it up from Red Hat’s helpdesk two hours ago, installed F11 from a USB key created by Luke Macken’s awesome Windows Live USB creator, and am now running Powertop to optimize power performance and rsyncing a bunch of stuff from my old laptop.
For the first time ever, since I’m installing Fedora on a laptop from this century, I get the full awesomeness of Fedora. Wireless works out of the box. So do hibernate and suspend. I actually see the pretty Fedora Plymouth boot screen! It’s sweet and awesome and delicious. Thanks to all the geeks in the backroom who make Fedora ever more continually awesome.