Oracle Arena

In all of the hubbub about Oracle’s entry into the, um, “Enterprise Linux Enterprise Linux” space, it seems I missed out on one of the most entertaining Oracle stories in recent memory: their decision to purchase the naming rights for the Oakland arena where the NBA’s Golden State Warriors play.

Hilarious. Why? Well… if you don’t follow the NBA, no explanation will suffice. And if you do follow the NBA, no explanation is necessary.

This may be one of my favorite sports business quotes of all time:

“We welcome the opportunity to align ourselves with the Oracle brand,” said Warriors President Robert Rowell. “The Warriors are rapidly progressing toward our goal of becoming a championship organization, and partnering with Oracle is another sign of that progress. They are undoubtedly the best in the world at what they do. We look forward to tapping into them as a valuable business resource.”

Deeply, deeply awesome. And then, at the bottom of the press release:

“This announcement is provided to you solely for information purposes, is not a commitment to deliver any material, code, or functionality, and should not be relied upon in making purchasing decisions.”

So this isn’t a commitment by Oracle to deliver a championship to long-suffering Golden State fans, then? And this announcement should not be relied upon in making ticket purchasing decisions for Warriors games? This might be the best disclaimer Oracle has ever issued, for anything, ever. Seriously.

Oracle Arena

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